Quote: Why shouldn't we ask the same of our not-so-Alpha husbands?
We CAN ask this. We DO ask it. And we recognize that we can ask til we're blue in the face, but if they WILL NOT do it, then there is NOTHING we can do about that except 1) continue trying, 2) get okay with the way they are, 3) leave.
Option 2, "getting okay," as GEL pointed out, sometimes has the effect of giving the other person the space to change. When we continually ask someone to change something, the implication is that there is something wrong with the way they are, and that makes them dig their heels in. It probably shouldn't, but it does. In someone who's really mature and enlightened, maybe it wouldn't.
When someone feels that we are looking at them and all we can see is how wrong they are, they won't want to change. After all your H looks at you and thinks that YOU are oversexed. Has that made a light bulb go on over your head with the thought, "He's right. That's something unhealthy about myself that I need to change." No.
So your telling him that he is not man enough to satisfy you (and that is how your HD comes across to him, right or wrong), does NOT make him want to change himself.
Option 2, total acceptance, MAY give him room to change. It may not make any difference.
If he refuses to respond to your reasonable request (and I believe your requests are very reasonable), then you do have to ask yourself if this is someone you want to be with. I personally do not see any other option, except to go nuts.
