I have a passive-aggressive husband too (been separated 6 months, married 19 1/2 yrs). I got the Scott Wexler book early on, and was very DISCOURAGED by it. I did have email from one of the ladies who reviewed it on amazon.com and she had positive feedback on her situation. But after reading the book I just felt there was no hope as my H was probably not capable of emotional intimacy, etc. And was I putting all this effort into something that just couldn't be anyway.
Thankfully I was able to have a consult with Michele, and she said she does not like to label people. We got to talking about my H and how we have had some long OR talks (the last one was 6 hrs at HIS initiation)....at which time he really opened up to me and shared deep things....which he has been doing pretty much all along in our separation (we have a REALLY strange separation--he has been coming over twice a week and having nice talks, etc. with me and we have become friends again). Anyway, Michele said, "see there, you cannot really label him p-a when he opens up like that...it is not good to put a label on people." This really encouraged me and gave me hope.
She said my situation IS very hopeful and has been giving me wonderful advice which is working! I just have to continue to have patience. But let me say, he came over Sat. and worked in the yard for 5 hrs!! (without me asking). You all will know what a breakthru THAT is!
