I'm sorry this has happened. In my case, I knew there was some other reason my H all of a sudden decided he didn't love me, etc. In a weird way, it was a relief to confirm my suspicions..but it also hurt more than anything I could ever imagine. But, like in Michele's KLA tapes, it really doesn't matter what the cause is or whose to blame. It's time to focus on solutions. My H knows I will forgive him, but our spouses are not ready for that. They are only thinking of themselves..they are in their own fantasy land. I would suggest you pick up a copy of Surviving an Affair and Surviving Infidelity. These books helped me sort out all the emotions that were running through me. Unfortunately, it must be your W and my H choice to work on their marriages. Right now, with the other person, they are not facing the issues. They will fail. We must be strong and keep DBing. We must be the strong ones. We may be there for them when they fail..we may not. But, we must nuture ourselves. Everything I've read says that reconciliation is not possible while an affair is going on. I have made the choice to wait..at least for now, and I assume you've made the same choice. We are not choosing the easy way out like our spouses. If our marriages don't work, we will know we have done everything we can to save them. There is no shame in that. We will have our dignity. I don't think our spouses will be able to say they are proud of what they've done.
We will all support one another though our journeys.
