Although my h's EA ended some time ago, I continue to struggle with his passive aggressive personality. We were in counseling for almost a year after the affair ended during which time our counsellor worked on his passive aggressiveness in private sessions with him. She did not seem to make much progress. She warned me that he was a master at the technique and to try to avoid being set up. I wondered why we were never released long after the EA ended. I think she was trying to figure out how to deal with this covert method of control and sabotage.
I would like to read the book but only if it does more than to identify the characteristics. I need help in how to live with this person without going crazy. Let us know if you read it.
I reacently read an exerpt from the book IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING about covert aggressives and it described my h's (and his former ow's) behavior so closely that it frightened me. It described prescisely my h's techniques when we have any discussion that remotely makes him feel threatened - and that takes very little. His passive agressive approach to relationship discussions has made recovery much more difficult. Both of these books seem to suggest that the best solution is to run, not walk, away. That is not an option that I want to choose.
