Jamie, first of all, I just want to say that you are an inspiration to those of who have been separated for a while...10 months for me but things were bad the year before that as well. Something you said really struck home..you said you were obsessing about your H's motives and possible agenda. This is exactly what has been happening to me since this all began. I "feel" like my H has an agenda that I don't know about, so I've practically set myself up for failure and acted as if I know it's over. I even told him all this earlier on. When he was coming over regularly but still being cold and unfriendly, I asked him if he was coming over to tie up loose ends. I never saw the baby steps because I was too busy deciding my own fate. Well now it may well be too late, even though I've been distancing recently. He still has a negative opinion of me and he's still distancing. Can you tell me how far into your 18 month separation your H began to regain some interest? Up until then, was he adamant about not trying and did he ever tell you that he thought you should go on with your life? I'm very interested in what you have to say because you truly are a survivor after 18 months! I think it's wonderful. Please pass on your secrets! Also, what is the difference between waiting and leaving the door open...did you begin dating someone else? Sorry for all the questions, I feel like I'm trying to solve a mystery!
