Have you ever changed....

[Brian_M]

cally:
I think you have hit the stage referred to as “numb” where to avoid pain, you are just suppressing the trigger. That stage really is the railroad track to destruction. Even if you don’t realize it, the underlying feelings will in fact manifest in your M. My suggestion is, maybe think on this a little more, then take another run at addressing the original problem.

To answer your question about any one going HD to LD? Well, yes, I have sort of been there a bunch of times. Though, my issue was completely different than yours. Actually, my W made me talk about this a great deal in a recent MC session. I think she secretly hopes to find the trick so that she can employ it. Any way, I can absolutely attest that nothing squashes a drive more completely than emotional pain. Again, please rethink giving up on your LDH. My suspicion is that your desire is still there, just buried under hurt.

CeMar:
I know were you are right now. I was there over a year ago too. In fact, I was spewing statements like that off in drunken stupors to friends too. Then, one day, one a business trip, the really beautiful girl sits next to me on a plane. Basically, she hit every one of my weaknesses at the time: mad scientist, Italian, beautiful, artist. Though, when she got off the plane and gave me her phone and hotel numbers, that kind of propelled the mental sit from lonely sad venerable guy craving attention and validation into something all together different, anger. Weird huh? However, yes, that was my pivotal moment where I made the decision it was get into a MC and then it is do or die with the W. Personally, I was angry at myself for letting things get so low that cheating would seem appealing. That is not who I am and I don’t think that is who you are either. So, my advice, skip all the in-between temptations and jump right into driving change at home. If you come to the conclusion that change won't happen, then get out of the M and do it legit. Good luck