Honestly, I sometimes wonder if my requests for sex or discussions about sex are just a knee jerk reaction. By the time the words are out of my mouth to try to flirt H into bed or to discuss the no sex policy again - I feel little to no desire. I try to think that there is desire and it is just kind of muted or buried under the weight of the issues surrounding it. However, I'm starting to think I might be better off planning a celibate marriage and learning how to be happy that way.
