I havn't posted in a very long time but have continued to read many of your posts...to update you on my situation...found out H had an affair in Sept 98 and he couldn't decide who he wanted...moved out in Nov 98 to his Mom's while continueing with both relationships, but did move back home somewhat ..then decided in Feb 99 to move in with OW and that only lasted a day and realized he didn't want that and asked if we could have another chance...he went to see a priest and both of us went...he moved out into his own apt in March of 99...we then went to counseling, his suggestion, and he did stop seeing OW...I do think they talk periodically, but I know it's over. Throughout the past year we have grown alot and have worked on our relationship...the problem I have now is that he has been home pretty much the last month and doesn't seem to want to give up his apartment...he rarely goes there and I don't think he even knows why he needs it other than a place to excape. I don't know if I should just be more patient and eventually he will move what little he has there (it's a small furnisehd efficiency). I did ask him last month and he said he's working on coming back....I'm not so sure what he's so afraid of...other than the statement he made that if it didn't work this time he thought then it would probably be over for good and I think that is really scaring him....he's not one to open up easily and puts up a wall. I don't talk OR very much because I know it's a very difficult thing for him, but I do let him know how I feel, without placing any blame. We've learned how to communicate nicely, but OR talks are always more stressful...so I limit them. A DB technique...So if anyone out there can give me any advice...Johnswife, I know you've been through alot...how are things with you? Maybe you can give me some advice...and Michelle, could you please respond....we have come so far and I don't want to ruin things by being impatient...or is it simply time to make the permanent move. I told him I wasn't giving any time frame or ultimatums, but I thought it was time. God Bless everyone one of you DB 'er out there. I know how tough it can be and what a roler coaster ride it is...but a better relationship is on the other end...
