Hi Jenny, Just my two cents, but if you look at it in light of DB (and also the KLA tapes), you've mentioned those things to your h, so he probably heard you. Now, the tough part is will he act? As you know, actions speak louder than words. Is there something you can "do" instead of say to light a fire under your h's you know what? The other strategy I find useful is the act as if. The expectations thing is always one that gets me -- I know enough to keep expectations low, with respect to what I get, but at the same time if I expect more from my h, and praise him, he seems to thrive and flourish. I noticed last year when I really was praising him for being such a wonderful dad (which he is, by the way), he seemed to become even better. So, is there something your h has that you don't, that would help your kids out? (He sounds very much like my h by the way, top of the class, academically brilliant, EQ very very low, lawyer, etc.) but my h has very good skills as a teacher. He is patient when instructing. Can you delegate certain parenting things to him, to be just his arena of authority. C2H was right in one of previous posts that if a man feels a little left out of the loop domestically, he will abdicate all areas. On one of the KLA tapes, Michele mentioned a woman who really wanted to socialize more with her h and other couples, but he was always reluctant. She found the key to get him to do this, by appealing to one area he couldn't resist -- his work. They ended up having a great time, and he suggested doing it more often. No, you shouldn't HAVE to do this, but you and I both know, that if left up to chance, it won't get done. So since you are the fixer, think of creative ways to draw your h into the parenting thing, either by praise, modeling (actions) or by a brilliant marketing strategy. I also think YOU need some TLC right now, and your h isn't giving it to you.
