Regarding husbands and biblical references, yep plenty of stuff there to put us guys in our place. One thing I was reminded of is the part that instructs husbands to, "dwell with the wife of your youth with understanding:" Your H is NOT doing this, he is brilliant, can fully grasp and process the information you logically provide him regarding disciplining adolescents which I assume you have already tried to do. If he were "understanding" the stress you are under, then you two could agree to let H take the lead with the boys as I think it should be. He could logically apply discipline, and establish boundaries. I believe it is easier for a father to detach from the emotion of discipline, especially with adolescent boys.
Boys will always try to manipulate and test their parents but even more so, their mothers. I do agree that H is taking the easy way out and I can only speculate that he is doing this because he has found that this "works" for him. Maybe past attempts to get involved may have resulted in conflict, possibly because of your disapproving of his methods ("different parenting styles?"). H might have resented your scrutiny (because he knows he is brilliant,) finally coming to the decision that he is going to take a "hands off" approach.
I think all you can do is try to appeal to his "maleness" and let him know that you really need (key word) his help with this situation. It might help to use third party materials to underscore the importance of having a father figure who is instrumental in the disciplining adolescent boys. If you say it, he'll doubt it but if someone else says it, "it must be true." Truly a challenge, just think you have to "pick, your battles." C2H
[This message has been edited by Committed2Him (edited 08-30-2001).]
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
