Have you been eavesdroping on the convos in my house? I can't believe how right on target you are! It is incredibly valuable to get a male perspective on the dynamic I brought up,previously. I know what you are saying is so true and my tendency to take the lead,is something my H probably does resent. I avoided doing it while I was DBing, so actively, and I am sure that was a major contributing factor in my H's desire to reconcile.
However,I have been stressed out to the max with my son's situ and impatient to "get things going"...so, I do jump right in with the kids,resenting my H for his seeming passivity. He and I have very different parenting styles which is a problem. His "hands off" style infuriates me and I interpret it has a lack of support.It certainly is not very effective when it comes to dealing with adolescent boys,specially when one has ADD. They need limits and structure, which my H just seems to want no part of...so I am the key figure, which most likely puts me back in to that "controlling" category.What's most important- my marriage or my children?
Have a good evening! From one adult,child(first born)of a "functional alcoholic", to another...Jenny
