Hello all- these recent threads touch on feeling I have had as well so what do we do? This is what I am doing, I choose to continue to learn and give and love, building my wife up and not expecting in return. Do I hope for some return, yes but I am not demanding or expecting? Unconditional love is giving and not expecting in return. My faith is a part of this and so I feel that if I am not "justly" compensated in this lifetime, I will be in the next.

Is it different now, is the innocence lost? Yes but should we live in fear that it might happen again? I don't think so. I am reading Gary Chapman's book again because it reminds me that our marriage can become VERY good again: The Five Love Languages : How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate From this book I have drawn encouragement that my marriage can evolve into what he calls "mature love."
I have also learned that we express our love in different ways, like different dialects or languages. Our spouses may be showing their increasing love for us in ways we don't really recognize and visa versa. With ALL I've been through, I had to remind myself about this truth this past weekend and it paid dividends.

Living in the present is a key concept for me and I am responsible for making me happy with what I have. I look at others less fortunate (look at the newcomers board if you ever want to feel grateful for where we are at this time).

There ARE times when we are physically and emotionally spent and then the hurt of what we went through CAN bring us down if we let it. Our mates are still imperfect and they will continue to fail us in one way or another but they were not put on earth to make us happy. They can meet certain needs but if we know they are unlikely to meet others, then we maybe setting ourselves up for failure if we expect them to meet those needs.

Here is something I read today which helped me keep things in perspective, it is a story about the triumph of the human spirit: Her Blue Heaven May you all be richly blessed, C2H


Committed2Him- "C2H"
All Things (Back from Spain!)...18