Hi again, jenny! Would it help if you sat down and listed all your goals both for son and h? As you know this is something that Michele advises. I don't know if you ever listened to the KLA tapes, but they're really very good. Maybe you could hop over to that forum and brush up on goal-setting and goal-accomplishing. it's a reminder I need to give myself all the time.
I am also going through a tough time, mainly to do with trust issues, and a sense of my own lost soul as I've heard you and others whisper about here. As you know my h has made several turnarounds and then slipped back, and that is probably due to my slipping as well. I am so fearful of sliding again, in fact I refuse to go back there, so much so that I am very very wary and probably am not regarding his changes with any trust at all. I find I need reassurances that he means what he has said, because of the history of giving and taking it all back again. I have also heard nothing that sounds like he thinks he was at fault at all for the ingredients in our marriage that led to the breakdown. He continuously rationalises all his behaviour, from the nastiness and coldness to me, to the sneaking and lying, on his feelings that he didn't want to be married. The best I've heard of why he's decided to stay was because of the kids and then he eventually he realized it wasn't so horrible here after all. In order to heal from all that damage, I need to hear more, and see more,Jenny. Maybe I'm expecting too much, and this is a man who is wholly incapable of giving more. But it just leaves my soul feeling dry as dust. Any insights?