Alex, Please don't feel that you need to apologize or offer any explanations for anything.Everything is just fine! You have had a very tough time of it, for a long time.You also have two young children to consider in any decisions you may make re the future of your marriage.This tends to limit options and forces you into a corner...stress....and more stress! Your need to analyze is a product of your extreme intelligence and is a form of processing the "craziness" in your life.But,"don't throw the baby out with the bathwater"! It's important to remember that the DB method requires behavioral changes and that frequent analyzing could prove to be a stumbling block in achieving success with this behavioral approach. It was very difficult for me to realize this fact and to avoid a tendency within me to do the very same thing. In addition, it is very easy to slip in to a "computer addiction" type of thing as an avoidance technique.You can miss much of what is going on with your children & your home, if your are bent over a computer for many hours each day/night. The internet can become a replacement for friends,family and other activities.With all the love and support on the board,24/7, who needs anything else. Reality is painful and dealing with the problems of everyday living are exhausting.However,you are doing a great job moving forward. Your success in restablishing your career is empowering and most certainly makes you more attractive to your spouse. Alex,it's hard to do it all and some areas come up short...but you can do it.It's very important to take care of yourself and the children as best you can,while continuing to make use of Michele's method. You flatter me with your kind comments and I respect your abilities...Jenny
