Just starting to catch up after some busy time away from on-line stuff. You sound like you're making some progress -- I like the fact that you're listing the positives in your day.
Quote: Was wishing I had my partner with me but that seems about impossible now.
Reminder: nothing is impossible w/ The Big Guy. (Example: you're "back," right??)
I found being cut out of IL stuff post-bomb extremely painful. Mine are all pretty far afield so it's not like we saw each other a whole lot but it s_cks feeling "replaced" in the family. The one thing I'll say based on my own experience tho. is if you had a decent R w/ them on your own before (and it seems you did) and you act consistently to show them, even when they're acting all uncomfortable, that you still care about them, it'll come back to you.
Sounds like your summer's off to a lovely start -- pass the hotdogs!
Thanks for stopping by and giving me the nudge. It is true, we (IL and I) did have a good relationship before. And I am getting busier, so the time is filled.
This morning the following was at the end of the devotional:
Quote: Weak faith says, "God can." Great faith says, "God will." But perfect faith—godly faith—says, "It's done." Your faith is your testimony. What does your faith say about God?
That is the faith I want (the last one) and the faith that AmyC keeps talking of. It is already done, just not manifested yet for us to see.
How are you doing? The last I read you sounded good. Dance? when and where? I am finding myself not scouring the board much.
Doing fine. Staying local. I'm glad you're not spending as much time on the bb -- hopefully that means you're spending time on other interests and w/ friends instead of dwelling on things that are less productive.
Noted: I had a nice conversation with EX at lunch time. I had an invitation from her sister's step-daughter's graduation to take to her, and after discussing it with myself I decided to stop by. She had some mail for me also. We talked of D19, bf, etc. She mentioned how she was scraping to get by, that she could not if not for her mother (who has enabled her all along). I commented how nice she looked, asked for more of her business cards and left.
Glad I stopped my. No alterior motive other than I wanted to see her and speak with her.
Wow, it appears that you actually listened to her talking about "scraping by" yet managed to leave w/o asking her if she needed any $$ from you -- good job!!!
Not much planned for the weekend but it was busy. FIL was taken back when the divorce came into the conversation. Watch it be one of the things he remembers. I showed him I was still wearing my ring, and that he could marry us when she decides to come back. He smiled big then. Bless his heart. He did not even remember why he was there and told me that "they" think he is crazy. "Do you think I'm crazy?" he asked me. "No more than I am so that doesn't help much now does it?"
W called me while at the nursing home, about D19, then stopped by my office in the evening talking the same. Had shown a $1m+ home, so was feeling good about herself, now again loving her work, best thing she has done, etc. Said if I did not get down to fix D19 walls she would have OM go with her to fix them. I am not even sure he can tie his shoes yet Yep you guessed it, pd off.
So, Karen, whatEVER!! It is in His hands, I can do nothing except pray for her, only He can open her eyes.
Oh and about money? she was giving D19 some cash to eat and told her to feed me too. WHAT?????
Actually after her visit and call I took a pebble off the pile of five. Maybe I should have added one for her coming by? You tell me. She came by, but she was too positive about her work now and talked of OM too much.
Looking over my notes in a journal I kept for talking with the DB coach a year ago: May 19, 2005 Last night we talked about us, OM and her, the This will be my last entry and I am positive she will not change her mind. She is thankful that I gave her an out as she said that she was never the right match for me. Now she needs to find out who she is and will be able to without the baggage of myself. I have been such a fool to think that love could conquer all and that God and His example of forgiveness could mend a shattered relationship. If there was a chance for us it is shattered now thanks to yours truly.
I sense more now the how desparate she was to get rid of me and on with her life especially with OM. I could always tell when she had talked to him.
This afternoon I went to see FIL and remember I told him his D divorced me? Well, he said it had been a couple days now,had I gotten married yet. I said not, that I was waiting for his D to say yes to a proposal again. MIL came by (had been gone all week and not visiting him which explains why he was so disturbed), I suggested we take him out to eat, so we did, then went for a drive, got some fudge bars, and then back to the home. Saw the house FIL grew up in--he recognized it immediately and remembered lots of stuff. He asked me if I thought he was ever going to be any good again.
somehow some of the post got lost: May 25, 2005 Had another great evening with my family and helped Ann as I could. She did not hurry my adjustment of her nor pull away when I was close to her or had my leg against her side. May 26, 2005 Ann called about 3:00AM because Logan was so bad sick. Went out there at 3:30 and she was a little better with some Keopectat. Stayed there and gave adjustment to Logan and Ann. When Ann awoke she said that she had dreamed that I came out there. In her dreams and positive!! Jun 6, 2005 She called to ask for some cash in her account. I did that and some other things for her (Drop sheets and her check) and when she said goodbye when I called her back she said “love you, bye”. My heart almost blew and it felt so incredibly good even though I realize it was likely a slip of the tongue. June10,2005 Disagreed, raised voices and she is certain that she is filing for divorce though I am not sure when. Will not be for adultery which it should be but some other notion she has. This will be my last entry and I am positive she will not change her mind. She is thankful that I gave her an out as she said that she was never the right match for me. Now she needs to find out who she is and will be able to without the baggage of myself.
Yep you guessed it, pd off. 
It is in His hands, I can do nothing except pray for her, only He can open her eyes. 
MIL came by (had been gone all week and not visiting him which explains why he was so disturbed), I suggested we take him out to eat, so we did, then went for a drive, got some fudge bars, and then back to the home. Saw the house FIL grew up in--he recognized it immediately and remembered lots of stuff. He asked me if I thought he was ever going to be any good again. 