Hi Me2, Thanks for your words. Friday was just a bad day for me. I went home and h knew it immediately, asked what was wrong. I told him I didn't think I could handle the intimacy anymore, that I loved him, loved that aspect, but I was left feeling very vulnerable afterwards without the commitment. He said he wants to stay, does not want to go, and that he has refrained from saying ILU because he thought I would probe him on how he knew for sure this time, cause we've been down this road so often. We are by no means there yet, wherever there is, but it looks like we are recovering. What's difficult for me right now is learning to trust again, and after so many months of successful detachment, how to make those baby steps myself back to a place where I feel safe. I believe my h realizes this now, however. His obsession over ow is over, I think, he says anyway, although he has said that before. I think his obsession for her made him preoccupied with trying to win her (back?) -- there must have been some encouragement from her at least at the beginning, or he wouldn't have fallen that far for her. But she put a halt to it, when he got too serious and intense. He has spent the better part of two or more years trying to show her what a great catch he is, and comparing himself favourably to her h. In the meantime he has left me out in the cold. In turn, I have done a similar thing to my son, ignoring him when he realy needed me, in order to obsess on my h. It is such a tangled thicket that it does seem a lot easier just to extricate yourself altogether and leave. That's where my head was at in the past three months, fully prepared to leave, and feeling good about that.
