Baker! Oh, WOW! I just read the entire thread over the last 45 minutes.
First off, congrats to you. I know how much you went through since our talks on my own thread so many moons ago. I'm very happy for you and incredibly jealous.
I'm at a bit of a stalemate in my DBing. My own H moved out on 8/4 to find himself, something I supported him with, even handing over the savings account of $4000 for him to pay his living expenses with. I found out that just this past Labor Day weekend, he chose to fly to Chicago and go out on a date with another woman whom he has been calling for a while (met through work).
This date (and whatever dates may come afterward) just flew in the face of my core values of honestly and fidelity. I could not turn and look the other way. I told H that I had made my decision and did not want to be married to someone who did not respect me enough to a)tell me he was going to date another, b)tell me where he was that weekend (our son has serious health problems and this is just irresponsible parenting in my book), and c)respect our vows enough to wait until after our divorce was finalized.
H now seems down about our pending divorce. H is concerned about losing our son, since I will have custody. I will not be the one to file the papers but have let H know that I will not tolerate that lack of respect from anyone.
My question is, what to do next? Do I continue to DB even though my mind is made up and H has said over and over that he just doesn't love me enough to try and make things work? What techniques should I use? I already concentrate on myself, I'll try active listening more, but whatelse can I do? I question whether I even want this man back, even if he gives up dating OW.
