This is all so hard. Even though I know what I need to do someitmes I get caught up in the moment and backslide. It seems to really happen when my H is acting like he is rethinking and then I guess I may push too much although for the most part I don't think I push until he starts to back away again. When he seems to be very set on this divorce is when I lose it the most. I mean why talk to me about thinking about coming home and then say No I want to divorce and not be married. He wants to D and then figure things out because he doesn't know and then he does know because he has just changed. Then we will not get along and I will lose it and then the next day he is calling me a few times just to talk. What is it with all of this vascillating back and forth and back and forth. Did you all run into this and how do you deal with it. He also vascillates between calling Michelle's associate and then wondering why he is calling him. He wants to talk to him and then it is why do I need to talk to him? How do you all (or how did you?) deal with this? I know that I should just listen and repeat what he says, but in the meantime how do you deal with all of your emotions so that you do not lose it with them? That is my hardest part. I will feel like I am doing good and then wham he will call me and if things don't go so good I will fall apart again. He will be coming to our house on Saturday to mow the lawn but I will more than likely not be there as it is my Mother's Birthday tomorrow and I will probably go see her out of town tomorrow night when I get off of work, but I don't know. I just don't know where to go from here. I guess I should just prepare for this Damn D!!! Also the hardest part is wondering Why? DId you all go through that? I went from having a wonderful romantic husband who thought that I made life worth living to one who has served me with Divorce papers. One thing he keeps mentioning to Michelle's associate and to me is he thinks the different shifts really was the main thing that hurt us. No time together so just divorce me and what spend time with the OW whose son and mother get on your nerves and who you say you could leave tomorrow and it would be no big deal. Yeah that is the chicken way out of things.
