i have been reading all your posts, and must say all of you are very helpful, we all are going through trying times, and reading your posts makes me feel better, not alone. so thanks to all of you for your inputs.
and yes i to am feeling a little sorry for the OM, she blames me for not being their, and for broken promises?? what ever she thought they were. she is depressed and on meds, has never held a stedy job, was mostly a stay home mom, has no hobbies, and very few friend, so i feel all of her unhappyness was blamed on me. yes i could have been there more for her and not involved in my work or more so my children, i do see i put my kids first, but i should have given more time on her, a little to late now, but this OM is promising her the world, will never leave her side, she is his soul mate, well when this honeymoom relationship turns into a regular everyday relationship, and he realizes she comes with children ( which he has not meet yet )then we will see his true colors, the grass most of the time isn't greener on the other side. i have gone dark, not calling her anymore, put it in my mind that its over and telling myself to concentrate on myself, and my children. if she never comes back, then i hopefully will be in a better state of mind, went out and joined a gym, booked a safari with a friend to africa ( alway wanted to go hunt there ) and am moving on with my life, hell at first i thought i'd see my children every other weekend, but last week i had them 5 out of the 7 days, while she's running off to her new soul mate. i'm just tired of it, so he ( the OM ) can have at it. i down deep do feel that after 14 years, she will realize that this OM can never fill my shoes, or affect the bond i have with my children, if i was a betting man i wold bet this new relationship will not last past a year, and then she'll realize that i wasn't to blame for all of her unhappyness, everyone has to have a life of there own, everyone needs his or her time, to be able to be a better person to there spouces, and family. and she is a very misserable person, with a low selfesteam, she need to help herself out first, not jump into another relationship. i do hope she see this, not for me, but for herself and the children. i guess time will tell. so bottom line, take care of yourself, be a better person, feel better. and just maybe, your spouce will notice the change, realize that maybe she should have stuck around and tried. and if she comes back, you will be in a better place. and if not then again you will still be in a better place. we all want to keep our familys together, but sometimes it like that saying, if you love something set it free. so hang in their and take care of yourself, control the thing you can control. and its not her.
