She urged me to get a lawyer so she can be served, then repond with her own attorney w/in 30 days - a NY thing, I guess. I think she's hinging her departure on the lawyer crap because she has zero income without me, and wants a child support check so she isn't moving in to the Turd's house penniless. It apparently is OK for me to pay the bills for years, but she can't expect that from Turd boy - it's "not fair to him" WTF? I think that check will be fairly big, and I think she figured out (finally) that alimony doesn't come your way easily when you leave your H and move in to someone else's house - and if that's not true, I'm not saying so.....
Maybe I'm being a little harsh - she's shown a high degree of concern that I keep our house for my son's benefit, but maybe a little for her own as well (?). Like it's comforting to know it - and I - will be here. I had started to change her mind about that and blew it yesterday. Oh well- -past is past. I spoke to her this afternoon about dividing our assets, the dollar value of child support, etc. and she was getting a bit agitated - like she was being pushed or annoyed or something. Just goes to show how close to her heart things still are, I think. She spoke constantly in the big R talk about how sad she was, how she was giving up her dreams, accepting less than she thought she'd have and deserved, etc. But also said that she would never have those things with me, either, so why not be with someone who treats her better, where things weren't so difficult - the truth is, she may be right. I was NOT the great husband I could and should have been. I did all the usual stuff - neglected her in many little ways, thought of myself too often, and her too little, let some low-grade depression get the better of me and our marriage, and just generally created a huge amount of baggage to get over. I read in the the "It's (Mostly) Your Fault..." book that you need to surrender to your W/H, and let yourself be happy for what you've done or become, not what you've gotten or won from your spouse. That paragraph really resonated with me - I can see very clearly that neither of us really did that for the other. Too little, too late....as the WAW description says.
I wonder how many of these situations really end in success?
