Sunday morning update - We talked R again last night, she told me many things about thinking it's too late for us, but that she wants to be with me when she's with me, OM when she's with him.
She's got that huge conflict about what choice to make, knowing both would be hard, but having more feelings for him now than she does me. He's her confidant and supporter when she says how unhappy she is with me, and I'm just the guy who's hurt her for so long. I'm so in trouble here - how do you compete with that? She's just suspicious of everything I say or do. I know she hates to lose our life and all the dreams and things that go with it, yet she believes they were all false anyway. I know everyone will say I've fallen off the DB wagon here, but basically yesterday was the "beyond the Last Resort" discussion. End result? rolled into a full-blown R talk, me telling her how I've dealt with depression, seen the possibilities, etc. I was led in that direction by her, and refusing to go there would've been a mistake when she wanted to. This morning she was up and gone before 6 am, after talking on the phone with OM until past 1 am. Left me a note saying she'd be home by 10 - why? Who knows!
What the heck can I do here? My wife does not want to hurt anyone and can't seem to get to that place again - the place where she recognizes the value of holding our family together, and working hard on something worth having.....
