dee, you're right, now is probably not the time for me to give you advice but rather to just tell you that I DO understand, as do we all. I know it doesn't make you feel much better, or stop the tears I KNOW are there right now but you ARE NOT alone.
That idea that my W was supposed to be the one I turned to in times of crisis was a powerful one to me and often caused just as much pain as whatever else I was dealing with. I mean, first she rips my heart out and at the same time, takes my support system with it. How cruel.
All I can say is that it DOES get better. I can't speak from experience on the seperation part but I can on most other aspects of what you are going through. One day soon, you will be able to wrap your head around the new reality you have and you'll accept it. I know that sounds impossible, but it's true as many others her will tell you.
Please, let it out. Cry, scream, beat a pillow, whatever. Allow yourself to FEEL this and then try to process it and understand that for your son's sake, you WILL pull it together and make the best of a crappy situation.
I am sorry you are having a terrible day and I hope you find peace soon.
