Quote: That sort of comment freaks me out, and I've got a list a mile long of those - saying how much room "we" have in the barn after the garage sale, talking about buying a family computer our son can use, and asking ME when I would like HER to move out. She also talks daily about how terrible it is that all her fellow students are divorced/unmarried Moms, and she'll be one too - what can I say to that? Your choice, Honey?
I understand your confusion. My W, all through this thing, constantly said things like that. She would always talk about things WAY in the future and want to do things that would only matter if we stayed together, then the next day say how there we nothing left to work on between us.
I know it's frustrating but you have to accept where she is right now. She is oscillating between confused and her "normal" life with you, making plans with the family, etc. She is in a very real sense, living two separate lives but probably knows one of those lives will have to end sometime. My W always said she understood that anyway.
Quote: Another observation - possibly false - I don't think she's in love with him, she may just see him as a safety net, with future possibilities. THAT may be my wishful thinking.
Maybe, maybe not but it doesn't really much matter. Either way, she will have a hard time breaking things off with him. Sure, it helps if she is not feeling those "in love" feelings but as you said, he may be her safety net and as such, will be VERY hard for her to get rid of and still feel "safe".
