Being me - You're right about the financial issue, of course, but the way I handle things now will have a huge impact on our progress [see above post re: my attitude in the past about $] as well as how smoothly our separation agreement will go - I know, I know - tons of you guys are laughing - but the money isn't that big an issue for me yet. She could demand and get most of my earnings in a filing - she hasn't worked in 5 years, and didn't work much since our wedding day - so NYS would think spousal support was a great idea!
Emotionally, seeing her squirrel away a few bucks on every trip to the store and buy things on her not-so-secret credit card is HUGE for me - planning her life with OM right in my face - but reacting violently would turn everything to a huge $hitstorm that'd hurt myself and my son a lot worse than it would her. You'll notice I mentioned the Sep Agreeement - requirement for NYS divorce is a one-year separation, at which time a D can be granted and the Agreement becomes part of the D. It's where all the financial stuff gets worked out, and I think she's counting on me to be cooperative, so it gives me a measure of influence I might not have otherwise. I don't think she'd do poorly in court, but I'm convinced she harbors only anger for me - no hatred - and plenty of guilt, since she knows her behavior has been far from perfect (nastiness, rejection, betrayal, cheating, lying, blah blah blah..... )
So that's where we are with money now!!! I guess that's a 180, isn't it
) 
