Lisa, didn't know what to say when I first read your post. It's heartbreaking, but I can only second everything that Jenny has said to you. There is a certain movement forward, just in the fact that the divorce has been filed -- you were fearful of that and fear hanging over one's head is a paralyzing thing. She is absolutely right in everything she has said. This is by no means the end, she is also right about his ambivalence after such a brief marriage. DB your heart out, not so much for the effect it might have on him, but the effect it will have on you. I have been going forward, and I am feeling much more confident and positive, and I might add that my h has made no moves to leave. In fact he has become more affectionate. Big difference is that he doesn't have anyone to go to -- I will never assume again, however, that that will always be the case. I am taking it one step at a time, and there are things that I am very unhappy about with his approach to reconciling, but I am keeping it to myself until the right time. He knows what's right and wrong, as does your h, and I am giving him the gift of time to make any real moves toward reconciliation HIS IDEA. And I suspect your h needs the same thing. He needs to feel that he is assuaging his guilt over infidelity in his own way -- space and time away in order to justify it -- and that he may be back but only when he feels he can safely come back because it's his idea and not yours. Best of luck and lots of cyberhugs.
