You'll be OK. Choices on her part are out of your control. As for suicide, she's too shelfish for that. This is all about her and that's the last thing on her mind. She just wants you to feel sorry for her. The women most likely can't stand herself at this time in life.
I've lived it personally and seen it as a spectator. You change the names of the families and it's all the same excuses and complaints.
As for me and my situation. Life is well. I was married for 18 years, she bailed for a boss after my trying to stick with the DB program for 2.5 years. Her cheating weighed heavy on my health, I fell apart, but came back strong. I remember the pain well. I still don't know what went wrong in our relationship. Things went south fast and never emerged for air.
I raise my boys alone and they appreciate everything we do together. Mom is only 2 miles away and see's them less than 1 hour a week. Too into her adelescent re-birth. Looks like hell, filed bancruptcy and lives on plamsa donation money for food aside from her University job income. She's all into the fake tan and high maintence lady things.
I'm my own person again. I've taken up elk hunting each year out west added a few black bears, antelope, and a moose, even a mountain lion to my hunt successes. My mom/dad(69) stay with my boys the last 10 days or so in October and I go out to Wyoming and Montana alone, camping in the back country with rented horses. I was never allowed to this when married. I've built a new house with the help of my boys and we love it. I dedicate all my time to them, little league and flag fooball highs school volunteer and serve on several boards for youth activities. No dating or women in my life, I get offers, but the time I have I spend with my family. Best way to ruin a kid is throw another relationship at them before their out of high school. My closet relatives are 3 hours away so it's essentially me and the boys and we get along great.
I work at a University, have a great job and circle of friends, I lift weights 3-4 days a week, can run a 5K or 10K without training. I'm just enjoying life.
Moral here, life gets better everyday. This site allowed me to be a stronger person. When my darkest times were constantly tearing at me 4 yeras ago, I never thought I would be alive today. I am, and I'm strong. New adventures await me every month. They will for you too.
Take deep breaths, find a spiritual center and move on to a better place no matter how the relationship evolves.
