First off, let me dissuade you of something you've been saying all along...you are not 100% responsible for what is happening right now in your R....As GH did say to someone else on here, you are 100% responsible for you contribution, but at best you are only half responsible. So dissuade yourself from the guilt that you "caused this"...its really not the case becuase it was ultimately her decision to abandon the R at the end of the day for whatever reason. That doesn't mean she's 100% responsible either. Both of you have to accept responsibility for the downfall of the M. It looks like you have started to do that....eventually she may as well.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu