WAW - Worth sticking it out?

[PArob]

The standard greeting: I'm really sorry to see you here deezee, nothing is worse than trying to sort through the crisis that has been brought upon you and your family. That being said, you have absolutely picked the right site to get the proper advice and others here who are much wiser and knowledgable than I am will likely chime in.

First and foremost understand that your W is confused and simply does not know what to do. The A here is merely a symptom of the underlying problems and not the cause. The fact that you have read DR and are employing its principles is very smart.

Secondly, WAW's will say anything to alleviate their own guilt and emotions in all of this, so believe only about 1/3 of what they are saying to you about the future, the past, etc. It is much easier for any of us to blame our problems on the doings of others than it is to look within ourselves. This seems to be where she is going in all this. could you have been a better person in the previous years....I'm sure, but it doesn't mean you can't be a better person in the future.

The other problem....it appears that you have already jumped ahead to "repairing" your R when in fact, there isn't any R at this moment. She isn't acting in any way that would indicate that you two have a healthy R, so what is it that your trying to repair?

I guess the best advice I can offer you can be summed up in that stupid little saying that we've all heard a million times again and again. If you love something, set it free and so on. How so darn true. Give her space, lots of it and in the meantime work on YOU. Don't focus on what she is doing, focus on making yourself better...work out, jog, find a hobby, read self-help books, visit this site..anything to occupy your time.

Believe me, you will get a great deal of advice here on this site. I'll try to keep upated on your sitch and I'm sure others will as well.

All the best,

Rob