Jenny, it's really me, AlexN, but we're on holidays and using someone else's computer so I had to change my name. My h is being friendly and so am I, but it's clear he doesn't want to spend any time alone with me. He alternates between being affectionate and stand-offish, and I'm not sure if I have gone too far in being detached. He always hugs me now at night, and wraps himself around me, but is not going any further. Of course, that would be crude considering he wants to leave. I am feeling more than ever distanced from him, and I'm finding all sorts of thoughts and memories as to why this is not a good marriage anyway -- is that kind of thinking going to ruin chances of ever reconciling, and could I help them even if I wanted to? I sense he wants to talk about things, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. The feeling I get is that he wants to talk more to see where I am in relation to how I feel about him, so that he can feel secure continuing with leaving. I want to tell him that he's iving me all sorts of mixed messages, but I'm afraid of undoing anything good I've accomplished so far. When I got upset the other night about his secrecy and the emails, he actually came over and sat beside me and was kind and affectionate, but since then, now that I've got renewed resolve about just wanting this nightmare over, I detect he's getting a bit snippy and angry. Did your h do that, and what was your response?
