I think you are absolutely right. My thinking over the pastr few days is she did stick her neck way out on the card felt scared and retreated. I never did ask her about it as I know this would be considered pushing and I knew too large of a reaction could be bad too so I went for the appreciative approach.
I've been doing alot of work on showing my appreciation. She threw me a 40th birthday party this past weekend and for the first time instead of just thanking her for what she did I went out and got a blank thank you card and wrote the following:
Dear J----
Now that I've turned 40, I thought I'd better write you this note before the arthritis sets in
I want you to know just how much I love you and appreciate you. Thank you for all your hard work, planning and effort you put into making my 40th birthday a very special day. A day I will remember always!
I put this on her nightstand after she went to sleep. The card btw went over well. She even laughed at the opening joke!
Other appreciative things I'm doing. She is usually an early to bed person where I am a bit of a night owl. She stayed up to watch my fav show with me tonight so I told her thanks for staying up and watching it with me and that I appreciated it.
