Below is an earlier post from 2 days ago. Although today was a tiny bit better than yesterday and the evening before, I so badly want to know what is casuing her to pull back after giving me this card. Do I dare ask her why she chose to write the words ILY in the card or will this most certainly be considered pushing! Is there a tactful why to approach this?? I'm finding myself really down because of this and I felt like we were making really good progress!
Quote: We are now almost 2 months from the day she told me she wasn't in love with me anymore, cut off our sexlife and declared she didn't know what she wanted anymore but was not ready to try for more. Since then my books DB and DR have been my best friend and I've even taken advantage of the counceling DB offers.
As I have said in a previous post, even thought she has declared a lack of love for me she continues to say ILY several times a day when we part or on the phone. I've even received a few ILY's for no reason at all. I continue to resist the temptation to say ILY first and only return those words when she says them first. I have kept up with my 180's, my personal changes, more of the same behavior techniques and have had some positive results, however small they are.
Today was my 40th birthday and the day started off the same as anyday with her since the bomb dropped. After work we kept with our family tradition of letting the person celebrating the birthday choose the resturant they would like to eat at. Even though it was my birthday and the server turned to me first for my order I insisted ladies first, something I know I have not always down. I think she appreciated this gesture. Anyway we had a wonderful dinner with the kids, had many laughs all around the table, made great eye contact and smiled at each other quite often. We've had a lunch date scheduled for almost a week now to go out on Sunday. I promised myself after she accepted I would not talk about it until Sunday unnless she brought it up. To my surprise she brought it up at dinner and we talked about where we might eat after our walk. After we got home I sat in our Rose Arbor swing and she promptly joined me. She sat next to me and took my hand as we talked about different things going on this weekend. At one point she turned to me and wished me a happy birthday again with a nice kiss, backed up by a second kiss. I was then surprised when she motioned for a third after I pulled back from the second. After that we did the usual cake and presents thing. After the kids gave me their gifts she handed me hers. I opened the card and started reading. I had to try really hard not to cry. She gave me a card I hardly would have expected to get from her. Here is what it said.
On the front cover it says: "To My Husband with love" On the inside of the cover it says: "The richest joys in life are those we share with the one we love" Underneath this she hand wrote in large letters " I LOVE YOU!" Above the main body of the card she hand wrote in the date and " To My Husband! Jim"
The saying printed in the card went like this:
"We've shared a lot of happiness, we've seen some dreams come true, and every now an then we've had our share of worries, too... But every day our love has grown still richer than before, and with each passing year I know I'll only love you more.
Signed, Love Always.. J----
I didn't want to over react to this card as I was extremely shocked, So I thanked her graciously for the card and the gift. After all that was done I felt her pull back, become more distantr and withdraw from me. She didn't smile the rest of the evening and the small physical gestures went bye-bye again too. Saying goodnight seemed uncomfortable too for some reason. I so want to know whats going on in her head but I resisted the temptation to ask what was wrong.
I'm still beside myself as to why she chose to give me this kind of card. I'm sure there were many other cards with less feeling in them that she could have chosen.
