Yes my family and friends was, and still is, constantly saying: move on, get the D over with, H doesn't deserve you, there will be a new game tomorrow, etc. I would always get so upset when they'd tell me this stuff. But I always was turning to them, talking to them about what was going on. At some point in the process, I think after looking at myself, making changes and maturing, I realized that all my family and friends want for me is to be happy, and during this time we are all in pain. They want to comfort us.
I no longer get frustrated or upset with them. They are trying to be loving and helpful. I can not control them, or H. I can control how I react. I thank them for their advise, but realize that I am the one who has to be ready to move on. I have to look myself in the mirror everyday when this is all said and done. A friend, who was diagnosed with cancer last year, was telling me about when he found out about the cancer, it was devestating. He said that he had to deal with it on his terms; that no one could do that for him. Just like us, that is what we have to do. He has been such a good friend. When I thank him for his friendship and advise about my situation, and I commented on my D is so insignificant to what he went through, he said to me that that is not true. We all have our trials, and no one's trial is less signifcant than the next persons. (By the way, he is cancerfree and is doing well. Still has to have 3 month check up though.)
Also, re looking at your H and not being able to remember the good times. I know I have felt that way. At this point, I am remembering the good more often. (After 9 months of crisis) I think H and I were in each other's faces so much and there was so much disappointment, anger, frustration, sadness, that you sometimes forget the good times.
Re the lunch and H coming over. Don't know what to say on that one. I know when I made myself less available, H was more puzzled and may have thought a bit. Don't know though.
Good luck!! Keep dbing!!
Kath
[This message has been edited by Pixie6 (edited 06-27-2000).]
[This message has been edited by Pixie6 (edited 06-27-2000).]
[This message has been edited by Pixie6 (edited 06-27-2000).]
