Thanks guys, I really like that you guys can be the "Bad guy" that only makes me figure things out more. I've been looking at old e-mails from me and her looking to see when and where I went wrong and it's an eye opening experience. She was trying so hard all along and because of the depression I never notice and I never noticed her. I have come to terms with why she is doing this. I now have the strive to fix these things I'm happy she did this in a way, because if she didn't I may have never woke up and smelled the roses. I just hope it's not to late to repair our R, however now that I see the depression and things I've done in the past, not just in our R but life in general. I will work everyday to fix the things in my life I've not been happy with and always had the attitude I want to fix them but never do. This whole thing has me seeing my life in a different light and I want to make these changes for myself.
Yesterday I kind of had a crazy feeling come over my body when I figured out my problem of depression. After reading about it and everything I started getting so happy and have been in this wierd calm ever since no longer am I tense I can just sit and I feel it all the way to my fingertips, I'm working more clear now I'm not stressed. I don't know how to explain it just euphoric. Maybe I've come to realize the real problem this whole time, or the fact I've always run away from problems all my life and for once in my life I have stood up for something I am passionate about and have the desire to fix. I dunno, I will keep DB and am in the right state of mind to fix myself and I think the R problems will start to fix themselves if it's not too late in her mind. I have her to thank for that no matter if we make it or not and will always be very special to me for that alone.
