Quote: Um, I think you may know this already, and not to be harsh, but I don't really believe this. Sorry, but I think she may be telling you what you want to hear. Once she moves out, just be prepared to see signs that things are not "waiting" for a D. She COULD be telling the truth, I am just warning you to go on with DB and not make that a condition for your positive outlook. It will be GREAT for you if she keeps her word but...
Yes I completely understand this and is just telling me what I want to hear. I guess if it helps me feel better that really can't be a negative no matter what her intentions. The things she wants to do (apartment and such) she will come to the realization she can't financially and I can't make money appear from no where.
Quote: Huh? Why 3 years? Strange...
I think again this is something she said to give me hope to make it through right now.
Quote: Not really if she asked for it but then again, she'll now know all the things you are doing as you do them. Dunno how that will work for or against you. I do have a question, why did she qualify that it not be a book on MLC? That, coupled with the earlier statment about 3 years and you'll be back together makes me think SHE thinks she's going through MLC since 3 years is a number I hear associated with MLC a lot.
Well personally I think it is, I had broght it up one time when this all first started. She doesn't want to feel like I'm giving her a book about her depression or MLC or anything like that. The book I was going to give to her was DR and not DB she doesn't even know about that one. I thought maybe DR would help her understand where she is coming from and think things through a little more to understand this is a two way street. I don't even expect her to pick it up until she's ready to change also.
Quote: This is the part your working on you will help fix. Once YOU stop BEING weird and start making personal improvments, THINGS will be less weird between you.
Yes I am working very hard on not being wierd even if I have to fake it for now. She said to me this OM is someone she can laugh and be happy with nothing sexual or anything else like she told me she went to his house and watched a movie and laughed through the whole thing ect.. ect... So I am going to work very hard to become that person. Makes it so much easier not being a sexual thing. Much easier knowing if that's what she's looking for that I can meet those needs so when I'm around her, I'm just being very loose and making her laugh. It's would be a lot harder trying to give her those romantic needs as me doing those things would just push her away.
Quote: Yes, actions DO speak volumes and the fact that your W is telling you this is good because it means she will be looking for your changes. Do what you can do, try to stay positive and move forward.
This is the master plan! 6 months is a long time to make changes and even if she drifts a little apart maybe she will second guess her decisions a little bit if I can be a fun person to be around again.
