I'd first like to thank you again GH and everyone else!

Well, It's been quite a few days and I'm beginning to cope with what is happening, I've learned a lot about myself and my Wife. I've made some breakthroughs.

First I've realized I've been depressed this whole time and didn't even know it. I read a post on here from mamabear about mens depression and that's me. So I have set up councling sessions and will start going next week. Me an my wife had a big blow up because she took the kids around the OM I was very fragile and upset and didn't use techniques I should have but my daughter came talking to me about it. However a HUGE breakthrough, she is not going to pursue this other relationship until Divorce is over. Good and bad I guess. good news for the kids that she will not be negleting them like she was and good news for me cause now I can DB my ass off without distractions of this OM. She also told me yesterday that If we both have not moved on in 3 years that we would be back together. I guess even though that sucks it gives me hope I can change myself into a better person and she will once again fall in love with me and vice versa. The bad news is she seems to be pursuing seperation a lot more, finding an APT ect... She just says it's to wierd with us anymore, but yesterday was a good day I was happy and upbeat we laughed quite a bit, and I'm opening my eyes up to lots of things. I've already read 150 pages of DR and like 60 in DB. She also wanted the book when I mentioned I found this great self help book for relationships and she said it was cool as long it wasn't a book about MLC or something like that. Was this bad? I bought her a copy and she has seen me reading it. She thinks its great that I'm trying to fix myself but only time will tell if I really change.

Personally I think this is all very positive even though she can't trust me or count on me that she is noticing change for the better. (she told me this) I know talk is cheap only in my actions can I show change. So I'm just going with the seperation and will give her what help she needs financially, mentally and physically cause that's all I feel I can do.

I am also keeping a personal journal of my feelings and writing down as much information as possible as to things that were wrong and right with our relationship. For a long time I've been a very boxed up person not expressing feelings. It feels good I can finally show my feelings.

Thanks to everyone, For the first time in a long time I'm feeling good about the things I'm doing and will continue following DR and DB.