For the first while, I didn't see the things that I was doing wrong, looked at the things H was doing wrong and kept thinking "if he could change <this> we could work this out."
Although he DID things wrong, I did too.. It's the chicken and the egg thing that is described in the DR book.. if you put the focus on who did what first.. you're going to fail. Recognizing your behaviors is the only way that you're going to be able to find your way forward. I thought that by doing EVERYTHING for H, I was being a good wife.. but I wasn't happy doing it.. I was being controlling and "expecting" something from it.. not just doing things because I honestly wanted to do things for him. It made me unhappy and a pretty miserable person to be around.
So, of course you weren't perfect.. were any of us?
Do some soul searching, listen to her complaints and REALLY look at your behavior. No one leaves the perfect spouse just 'because.'
That being said.. sorry to hear about your sitch. Hope you can work towards a more PMA, DB your butt off.. and get some results.
Link to stuff from the spring.. before I gave up...or he moved. Either way.
