Well I'm pretty new to these forums and came here because I thought I had a walk away wife. However it turns out she is having an EA she says she would never cheat on me but this person she feels no expectations of and can cry on his shoulders.
I think that story has changed quite a bit over the first week of all this. She has now started going out to bars and dancing and yesterday I went over to where she was staying to tell her and friend about how I felt to blame for all this and I was going to give her space. However when I got there she wasn't there (she promised the kids she would take them somewhere and didn't). When I got there her friend said she's not here and I said I figured as much but the friend assured me she is not having an affair and wouldn't sleep with this person. Also 3 times while at her house all she really said to me was I'm not having an affair I would never do that to you, Never did I pry or even seem to care mind you so I know she feels guilt. So I believe she's not sleeping with OM but she is emotionally attached to him. For our kids sake I told her we could be friends but she is not emotionally there for me and I have a lot of things to work on but please don't take that out on them.
How do I hide these feelings of jealosy and anger. Last night for the third night in a row she went out with this friend and I assume OM. I haven't been able to sleep in days and I'm very tired so I went somewhat haywire asking why can't I have a second chance and what did I do to deserve this. I KNOW big mistake but I'm exausted emotionally physically. I feel like I've lost my best friend which we were up until a week ago. She is giving her friend advice about her current relationship of 3 months which are things that would fix our marriage and that really hurts.
Also I took a job last week that is going to move me across the country in 6 months. I will be flying back and forth once a month and moving in 6 months. This is all happening so fast. Just the week previous we were looking for houses and having dreams. WTF
Do I continue with this new job or stay here for our 2 Children???
We don't have much time. I've got DB'ing and am reading it but this sucks I don't have years to work on this I have 6 months then I hit rock bottom lose my wife, my family and everything that it was.
I know she is scared to move to NJ and all her family is here and she is very hurting right now. Yesterday she was walking hunchbacked cause her Ulser was so flared up and sick to her stomach but as soon as the Friend called she popped up and went out dancing. WTF
She wants to continue to live in the house until it sells do I let her or do I tell her she needs to move out? She wants me to continue to put gas in her car buy her things she needs do I continue to do all that? I know she needs her space but her space is about to be huge with me moving I'm very scared and want to try to GAL but I have focused on our marriage for years and our friends are now going to take her side... Can't they see she is having an Affair? She says everyone will take her side including our Baby sitter which is a preacher. I feel like I can't even tell them my side of the story.
I am going to GAL and she has already noticed a huge change in me so far so I think thats good. Thursday I gave her my ring and told her that when she was ready she could give it back to me and I may accept it or I may have moved on and I will tell her honestly at that point but big changes needed to be made in both our lives that I simply wouldn't take her back if she hasn't changed also. Was this the right thing to do?
Sorry for my ranting. I plan on keeping a daily journal with this thread as I feel the OM is what she is leaning toward and why all of a sudden this happened out of the blue and caused the "I never loved you" vibes.
