Hi all! I kind of fell off the board for a bit. Sitting thinking about what to do next.
Jenny - Glad to hear your family had a wonderful Father's Day!! You've put tremendous effort into working through your marital crisis, and now the benefits are coming back to you! Congratulations!!
Thanks for the book recommendations. As I am working through my marital crisis, reading has helped me to get in touch with myself. (I too have an extensive library!!) Reading helps me get perspective on what happened and how I have to move forward. For the main part, I have detached, but as it is for everyone, I do have my relapses. At that time, I try to put my concerns on a shelf and pull the PMA, and usually a book, back.
Thank you Jenny for being a friend and guiding others through this difficult time. I especially appreciate your friendship because your strength motivates me to move forward and continue my journey. No one said that it would be easy, but it is freeing. I would love nothing more than to have my marriage be a success story. But first I have to be the best that I can be.
LStewart, as Jenny and John's wife have both indicated, many of us have similar stories. You have to fully detach, but detaching doesn't mean not loving. It is difficult knowing that H is with OW. And yes, we who are standing by our marriages could run away and feel that excitement with someone else. But I think we all realize that that wouldn't solve our problems. A very good friend of mine, who has been though marital crisis, and has pieced his marriage back together, once said that you have to find a special place where you can put your noncontrolable worries and concerns, ie. the relationship your H is in with OW. You place them there until you are ready to deal with them. Yes, it is difficult to always put them out of your mind, but it takes practice. You have no control, so you put them in that special place and let your Higher Power deal with them for you.
