I am sorry to hear that your H has left town and moved in w the OW.However,this could very well work to your advantage.The fantasy relationship your H thought he could have,is now a reality and I'm sure it won't live up to his expectations.Give it time.
I wouldn't advise talking to the OW anymore as your h could see that as intrusive and controlling on your part.It's nice that there seems to be no animosity toward you.Now you need to "lay low" and give it somemore time.
If you don't want the divorce,you should NOT be rushed into getting one.You may take as much time as you need,as he is the one pursuing this.
Stall in anyway possible in a passive/agressive manner.Let him think that there are other circumstances slowing things down.I would not sell the house if that is not what you want to do,Kathy.
Needless to say,it is imperative that you have good legal counsel and a solution oriented therapist to advise and support you at this pivotal time in your life.
Re the magazine,I am sure your H feels some sort of guilt over what he is doing to you and does not want to be a "bad guy".I would assume it is a gesture designed to keep you on friendly terms.It could also be an automatic response stemming from his time w you.
In any event,let him see that his new relationship just may not be as attractive in the "light of day" and know that eventually he will do the very same thing to her....find an OW to help him leave, as this is his pattern.
Kathy,you know that with a man like this,you are going to be encountering this type of thing throughout his life.He's a "runner" and does not fully commit to relationships.
At this point do the bet you can for yourself financially,etc.I'm sure that at some point he'll "run" back to you...but will you still want him.
I know how painful all of this is and I send you a hug and lots of PMA.This is nightmare is not about you,it is about him and his defective character.
Take care...Jenny PS Please re-read Michelle' books on the subject.
[This message has been edited by 17baker445 (edited 06-15-2000).]
