If I were you, I would be confused too! (We certainly know your W is confused...) I'm just chiming in here because I really feel for you. Hot and then cold. That's bittersweet.
Try to look at it in a positive way- she went out of her way to emphasize her actions, right? ILY in big block letters, the extra kisses...I would savor those moments and view them as positive steps.
Me: 44
W: 41
S15
Together 25 years- Married 22
My situation