Hi everyone! Chelsea,I hope I have been of some help to you even though our stories are different the problems are similar.
Jim I can imaginge how devastated you are in light of your W's behavior. I agree w the others that You should not permit your W to "set up" your new apt.Is she sadistic or just trying to ruffle you.Ignore these attempts to control your life.
The MLC spouse is unbelievably insensitive to the pain they are causing others.Keep this in mind and realize that your W is incommunicato not only w you but w her own emotionl feelings.
It sounds as if she has an EA going on and that her head is in the clouds(if not somewhere else).
My marriage has been unsatisfying to me for years,but I loved my H and accepted his flaws.Unfortunately,he did not accept mine.The stresses of moving,a high powered stressful career and two ADD children were too difficult for him to bear.Add that to a sense of growing older (late forties) and a compulsion to relive his youth and you have a recipe for MLC.When you throw in an EA,things really get "cooking".
In my case, the scenario I just described went on for about 7-8 years.We lived parallel lives and both felt cheated and neglected in our relationship w each other.
My H threatened to move out and felt compelled to end our marriage.Fortunately,I was able to slow things down using Michele's techniques and our relationship survived.
Jim we never separated and he continued to sleep in the same bed/room w me.It was like living w a stranger and was excrutiatingly difficult. At times I truly thought it would end.
Over the last 6 months he started to respond to me and has finally "come home" to me as his wife.
I am happy to help you in any way. Jenny
[This message has been edited by 17baker445 (edited 05-02-2000).]
