Frustrated, Sounds like you have alot going on. First, you are right that she just wants you to be a sounding board (10 points for you); but, this still leaves you with you the need to fix something.
If it were me, I would break this down into smaller segments and focus. When you look at the whole picture, it is quite overwhelming. I know for you right now your first priority is your marriage; but, my guess is that everything else is in such chaos with work, children, and home that it's hard to decide what fire to put out first. So, get out your "fire extinguisher" and come up with some plans. Maybe, start with a list like the following:
Her work situation: Would it be possible for her to suggest that they hire a temporary person to help with non-technical apsects? Also, she may want to read a new book by Gail Evans it has to do with thinking and acting like a man at work. But, you may just have to listen. Maybe, you could ask her, "Do you just want me to listen or would you like me to brainstorm with you on ideas?"
The children: Do some research on speech therapy. Use the internet and also local resources to have him screened if he has not already been screened. Get some books on child discipline. I would suggest John Rosemond's Six-Point Plan for Raising, Happy, Healthy Children. Get the kids under control, they are probably reacting to the under currents of stress at home. Be firm and consistent in what ever you do, DB techniques work with children too. Could you change their daycare location closer to your work? Could you arrange some sort of flexible schedule at your work?
Home: If budget allows, hire a one-time maid service and take the laundry to the laundry mat and let them do it. Get the house in order. Plan your meals ahead of time or prepare and freeze some meals over the weekend. Look in the newspaper in the Food Section and see if they have a 7-day menu planner that combines making one large meal that you can make meals with leftovers for the rest of the week. Again, check the internet if this is not available in your paper. If money is tight to do some of these things, could someone watch the kids for you so that you could do this on your own?
Try not to think of yourself as part of the problem; but, as part of the solution. Start working on what you can and maybe the rest will fall into place. Just for fun, go rent the movie, "Mr. Mom", that is after you get all the above done (ha, ha)! Take care!
Sandy P. S. I forgot to answer your question. I don't think your wife is unfulfilled, she is overwhelmed!
[This message has been edited by sandyduncan83 (edited 04-06-2000).]
