maybe it was projecting, it never really stopped, just became more strained, if that's the right word, during a time.
OT,
I'm not sure I remember recieving specific advice regarding this subject from you in the past. I really hadn't mentioned it prior to now....except for the hot tub incident, but I hadn't mentioned that we had been or were ML. So if you did provide some advice, I am sincerely sorry that I did not seem receptive because I typically find your advice to be very worthwhile.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
I think perhaps I may have been talking to someone else. I was rather skeptical of the claims about the quality of sex between an LBS and a WAW. Given the way it was described, it suggested to me that there was probably significant faking going on, perhaps enough to cause a faking problem that I discussed at length with some folks in the SSM forum. One great indicator of faking is a "simultaneous O" more than once a year (or decade).
A word of advice... Sometimes, you might wind up posting to what I think of as a toxic poster. These are manipulative people that will strike out in subtle ways when they don't hear what they want to hear, and who can't hear what they need to hear. But, even more than this, they subtly control an manipulate others in an effort to hurt other posters in a way that makes them feel good about themselves and superior in some ways. They usually have somewhat impressive masks that hide a pretty immature but large ego. So, I'm not just talking about the regular problem where it takes *EVERYONE* awhile to get some things. I'm talking about some really toxic people with skill in poisoning people and situations.
A great thing to practice in these cases is detachment and compassion. Hey, not everybody here has to like you Not everybody here is at a place that they are even capable of real growth rather than facade-growth. That is unfortunate for them. It becomes easier and easier to see the problems that must have been at the heart of their M. When you run across a toxic poster, try to resist the urge to take on their crap or to be drawn into their tantrums (in whatever sophisticated--or not--form they may take) through your own reactions and defensiveness. You can try to help them, or not. You never know when people will get enough of a shock to the system to really get off their high horses and confront themselves. But realize that with toxic posters, except in cases of extraordinary turnarounds, unless you are doing little more than ego stroking, with such people you will likely get a dart thrown at you, no matter how they dress it up to make themselves look good.
Anyway, just a heads up. And, like I said, finding a healthy way to deal with such cases is a good way to practice compassion and detachment in which you can genuinely care about the person's welfare without allowing them to make their crap about you, or allowing their various subtle assaults to have the power to undermine you. And, of course, resisting the powerful urge to keep trying to fix them
OT, I know. I actually deleted and then un-deleted my post that you are refering to. I know I need to use such things to grow and learn and not be defensive MYSELF when someone is defesive towards me. VERY good point, and point well taken.
Interesting, I think I know which post you are referring to as well......and strangely, I think I actually understood what OT said lol
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
I completely understood what OT said and I have no idea where the post is that she is referring to... but what she brought up to you is the very reason I stopped posting on this particular group and left. But I still lurk about but keep most thoughts and suggestions to myself!!
Not everybody here is at a place that they are even capable of real growth rather than facade-growth. That is unfortunate for them. It becomes easier and easier to see the problems that must have been at the heart of their M. When you run across a toxic poster, try to resist the urge to take on their crap or to be drawn into their tantrums (in whatever sophisticated--or not--form they may take) through your own reactions and defensiveness. You can try to help them, or not. You never know when people will get enough of a shock to the system to really get off their high horses and confront themselves. But realize that with toxic posters, except in cases of extraordinary turnarounds, unless you are doing little more than ego stroking, with such people you will likely get a dart thrown at you, no matter how they dress it up to make themselves look good.
GH 
lol