A word of advice... Sometimes, you might wind up posting to what I think of as a toxic poster. These are manipulative people that will strike out in subtle ways when they don't hear what they want to hear, and who can't hear what they need to hear. But, even more than this, they subtly control an manipulate others in an effort to hurt other posters in a way that makes them feel good about themselves and superior in some ways. They usually have somewhat impressive masks that hide a pretty immature but large ego. So, I'm not just talking about the regular problem where it takes *EVERYONE* awhile to get some things. I'm talking about some really toxic people with skill in poisoning people and situations.
A great thing to practice in these cases is detachment and compassion. Hey, not everybody here has to like you Not everybody here is at a place that they are even capable of real growth rather than facade-growth. That is unfortunate for them. It becomes easier and easier to see the problems that must have been at the heart of their M. When you run across a toxic poster, try to resist the urge to take on their crap or to be drawn into their tantrums (in whatever sophisticated--or not--form they may take) through your own reactions and defensiveness. You can try to help them, or not. You never know when people will get enough of a shock to the system to really get off their high horses and confront themselves. But realize that with toxic posters, except in cases of extraordinary turnarounds, unless you are doing little more than ego stroking, with such people you will likely get a dart thrown at you, no matter how they dress it up to make themselves look good.
Anyway, just a heads up. And, like I said, finding a healthy way to deal with such cases is a good way to practice compassion and detachment in which you can genuinely care about the person's welfare without allowing them to make their crap about you, or allowing their various subtle assaults to have the power to undermine you. And, of course, resisting the powerful urge to keep trying to fix them
Not everybody here is at a place that they are even capable of real growth rather than facade-growth. That is unfortunate for them. It becomes easier and easier to see the problems that must have been at the heart of their M. When you run across a toxic poster, try to resist the urge to take on their crap or to be drawn into their tantrums (in whatever sophisticated--or not--form they may take) through your own reactions and defensiveness. You can try to help them, or not. You never know when people will get enough of a shock to the system to really get off their high horses and confront themselves. But realize that with toxic posters, except in cases of extraordinary turnarounds, unless you are doing little more than ego stroking, with such people you will likely get a dart thrown at you, no matter how they dress it up to make themselves look good.