All in all, sounds like things are progessing VERY well for you and your W. I'm excited to hear about the weekend and the concert trip!

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I am worried about her. I know I should expect this because of all she's going through but I wish she would see someone about it. I am not going to force the issue though because for the most part, she's ok, and when she's not, she seems like she's willing to lean on me



As you know from my stich, your W and mine share so many very similar characteristics, especially when it comes to this issue. My W is obviously going through some very hard times on a personal level....I think its already been established that she has an eating disorder and suffers from depression (and based on family history, its easy to see). These things have me greatly concerned; however, neither of these things have overtly affected her physical health. As you once told me in my post, its a fine line, but if its not a life and death situation, they must come to the decision to seek help on their own. In all likelihood, my W and yours, if she is anything like mine, will not seek this sort of help. I brought the issue up with my W on one occassion in a sort of matter of fact way, without any atendant R talk and told her basically that I was concerned for her and that I felt that she really could benefit from some help. Ultimately, the decision is hers, unless it becomes deterimental to her health of the health of our children.

Basically, this is where you are too my friend. The best you can do is be supportive of her and not let her perceived "problems" affect you. Ultimately, she has to work through the issues herself.

Anecdotally, let me just tell you that this is not the first time in my R with W that I've dealt with depression of this nature. Back when D10 was born, my W suffered a very long bout of depression. It was horrible to watch how distant she became from everyone in her life, including me. We actualy separated for a bit because I just couldn't understand what was going on. Finally, I came to my senses and stood by her the best that I could. Little did I know it, but I successfully DB'ed at the time because I tried very hard not to let it affect me. Over time (a long time, at least in my mind, of about 1.5 years) she began to snap out of it and eventually was very grateful that I had stood by her.

Point being, our W's will likely work through these issues on their own, without the benefit of our help or the help of a professional. Would it be beneficial for them in the long run? Most likely, but this is just another factor to consider for the long term in your R because it is likely that at some point, she will experience these cyclical feelings again.

Just my .02 worth. Hope the day finds you in good spirits!

All the best,

Rob

Last edited by PArob; 05/15/06 12:40 PM.
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