So, you were hurt, disappointed, felt rejected and disrespected, emasculated, and attacked out of nowhere???
All perfectly reasonable reactions. Did you share your honest reaction with her in a direct way and tell her how you felt? I hope you didn't act as though this sudden change and attack was working for you...
Well, I don't think I felt ALL those things, but what I did feel, I did directly and immediatly express that to her. I acted as if, and told her that I was dissapointed because I was looking forward to this trip. There was more to it but that was the gist of it.
I don't know if it sounded different the way I posted it, but I didn't feel "attacked" in any way. As unhappy as I was, which was not really THAT unhappy, I was actually happy that she managed to tell me BEFORE we took the trip that she didn't really want to go and not during or a week after like she used to. To me, this was a good thing. Also, I didn't feel attacked or emasculated because I had always said this was something for Mother's day and since I want to get her something she will enjoy, and have not done so well with that in the past, in the end, I was glad to actually be told what she didn't want and glad to help her come up with something she does want. It's no sweat off my manhood if she wants to be direct with me, and at no time did I feel disrespected or anything like that. The convo was just two people expressing how they felt about something. I suppose I could have just made light of it by calling her on waiting until now to tell me she didn't want to go instead of when I was making all the plans...kinda like how I sat on that reciept for a few days.
Quote: BTW, this stuff about the trip is CRAP on her part. She is scared about being alone with you because of her own guilt. She is finding excuses to avoid an uncomfortable situation.
Ok, well, I think that is partly true but she IS alone with me every night and we will still be taking a 4 hour round trip and seeing a concert together so... As for her guilt, I am struggling with that. I think I have been clear in expressing my acceptance of the situation as she's stated it. If it's TRUE that there was no PA, at least in terms of sex, then why the continuing guilt? How long will that last? Now of course, the continuing guilt is a big red flag to me that I probably don't know everything but as we discussed before, I may never know and will have to forgive based on what she's had the strength to tell me.
Quote: And, no matter what conversation you had about the plans, I expect she felt coerced into going along with a couples weekend rather than letting you down after all she has put you through... So, it is good that she expressed that.
I IMMEDIATLY felt this as well. It's another reason why I just go over my disappointment and moved on to something else. To me, knowing how much my W tends to keep things inside, ESPECIALLY her wishes not to do something, I am very happy to see her trust ME enough that I won't go into a tailspin over this and just tell me what she wants.
