I guess there is news of sorts, but I consider it minor even though it upset me a little.
In the car back from shopping, my S5 brought up the upcoming overnight trip W and I had planned for this weekend. We are going to a concert and then I booked a room at a resort and a massage for her in the morning for mother's day. Anyway, in talking to S5 about what we were doing (all good natured, he wasn't upset or anything, just curious) it came out from my W that she thought it was too expensive and she wishes it didn't turn into such a big deal. I was a little taken back. We had discussed and planned it together, well, discussed it and agreed on what to do, I booked everything including my parents babysitting.
So I just looked at her and said that if she didn't want to go that we could just drive back after the concert. She said she would have preferred that and I never really asked her as much as told her that I wanted to stay over. Again, I was a little miffed at this because I did ask her if she wanted to do that and she said yes. Then she went into this thing about how I always feel like I need to make everything "big". I was a little upset at what looked like her backing out of plans that I had been looking forward to but I rolled with it pretty well. I did tell her that I felt like we could afford it and that since we never got to do these things for ourselves, that it was a shame not to go. She went on about the money issue and when she was done, I told her I understood how she felt but wished there was a time when we had enough money where we could stay the night in a hotel without feeling like we're going broke and how I felt kind of "hands tied" when it came to romantic things, not that this was one but more for the future and looking back at the past, because of this kind of discussion. In the end, I think I did a really good job of being calm and validating her. Never did I say I thought it was silly that she was worried about money even though we CAN afford it. Instead, I told her I understood, was a little disappointed but would cancel the room and massage. I did so immediately when we got home.
Later we had a discussion about what she wanted for mother's day since the hotel and massage was my gift to her. I suggested that I get her a GC to some of her favorite stores and give her an all-expenses trip, kid free mall experience on Sunday (since she has not been mall shopping since she's had no driving a few weeks ago) and then we would take her to lunch. She seemed VERY happy with this idea.
I guess it goes back to what I figured out early on in my sitch; it's much better to give her something she actually wants than to guess and get her something that she doesn't. I suppose it falls in line with love languages.
Other than that, no new news. I was a bit more physical with her last night, little kisses on the neck and more hugs, both of which she seemed to like. I know that feeling can come and go with her these days but it was nice to not be rebuked. I am very close to one of OT's suggested pin & kiss moves but don't feel quite up to that YET.
