OT, I read that post and I agree totally with it, and think that I actually have said some of the things she says she wishes she'd said. Thanks for that.
Quote: You are sounding good. One word of advice. Don't put the burden of rebuilding trust on her alone as her pennance. It is tempting, but it just won't work.
No, I never meant to suggest that. I know it's something I will have to meet her part way on. To me, trust may be something earned but that last step, the one that really counts, is more akin to faith than anything you can KNOW about, or KNOW is right. At some point, you just get to where you have to take that risk and GIVE your trust to someone. I think this is also where not relying on others to make you happy comes in big time. Sure, it's one thing to have your faith in someone shaken because of a breach of trust but to have your whole world shaken by it is another story and through all this, I am trying to get to a place where IF we reestablish trust again, my WORLD will be fine if she violates that trust again.
I know I have to start contributing to this process too and to what degree is the hardest part to figure out. I don't want to trust too much too soon or else I set myself up for disappointment. I like to follow your general guideline about giving as much to the R as she is, but in this case, taking as many risks with trust as she is (i.e. if she seems to be being honest and open, I will trust her by being honest and open with her, etc.).
Again, right now, for me, it's all about being willing to take risks, something that in the past I have been terrible with.
