OT, thanks. I know I need to stop guessing and just be direct. You've been telling me that for awhile now and my W just told me too. I think I get it now.
Quote: Do I think W has been totally honest?
Me neither but I am starting to believe that there MAY not have been a PA. It's not so much what she says it's how she says it and her body language. It is pretty convincing. However, I agree with your next comment...
Quote: My message to you is that you need to forgive her everything -- that which she has the strength to tell you now and that which she doesn't.
Yes, and this has been my stance all along, I've just had some stumbling blocks along the way to doing it. I THOUGHT I had done it but now I know I have a bit more work to do. I think I am pretty much ready to do that for real and then move forward.
Quote: The way she is talking to you and answering questions is pretty strong confirmation that it is over. It is also pretty strong confirmation that she is willing to work to build trust.
I agree. That and the fact that she looked me in the eyes and answered my direct question about whether I can expect full honesty between us from now on. She said yes without hesitation.
Quote: About the intimacy talk and that she is reading books, Passionate Marriage might be one you can read together....
I CAN'T PUT THAT OFF ANYMORE. You've been suggesting that one forever. I really have to get it! I will!
Quote: Give yourself a pat on the back. You must feel pretty good about who you are being and how it makes such wonderful differences in your life.
I do feel pretty good today. I feel like if nothing else, I overcame some pretty big fears and did something that made a huge difference in my life, if not my sitch overall.
I am still moving forward a little guarded but today IS a much better day.
