That is wonderful news, sounds like a very powerful, important evening. Pay attention to how opening up gave your W the opportunity to be good to you and you to her. Pay attention to how much it matters in terms of building real intimacy. You did a great job :-)
Now, what to do next time? Maybe some faster direct communication would even work better. But, you know you might not have a handle on things right away and might need a bit of processing time. How about, "W, if I seem keyed up, it is because there is something I feel I need to talk to you about, I just need to work through it a bit myself first. So, if I take a little space or seem a little weird, that is what is going on. I just wanted to let you know what is going on and that I have some stuff I want to share fairly soon."
BTW, if you weren't so certain of W's reaction and how you had to avoid it at all costs and keep things bottled up to prevent armageddon on a work day, you might have been able to talk about this much sooner. Fear was driving a lot of your anxiety around the talk. So, maybe next time you can give her the opportunity to prove you wrong sooner
Anyway, this is all great news.
Do I think W has been totally honest? I'd have to say not really, I would be very surprised if there weren't more to come. For instance, why would you and your father want to kill the guy? And, well, the friend excuse... Sure, it could be true. It could also be that she turned out not to be pregnant and just cannot burden you with the fact that she was scared. Who knows, maybe she had outercourse and was scared as it can certainly lead to pregnancy. There are a million scenarios. Certainly, that she really has told you everything is one of them. A break-up meeting that ended with bad somewhat coerced sex is another. A full out PA is another. In a way, though, it doesn't matter.
My message to you is that you need to forgive her everything -- that which she has the strength to tell you now and that which she doesn't.
The way she is talking to you and answering questions is pretty strong confirmation that it is over. It is also pretty strong confirmation that she is willing to work to build trust.
About the intimacy talk and that she is reading books, Passionate Marriage might be one you can read together....
Give yourself a pat on the back. You must feel pretty good about who you are being and how it makes such wonderful differences in your life.
